Wishcandles |
Arlène, 17 forever, Netherlands. Thinker, writer, blogger, singer, dreamer, creator, music lover. I like to dream away to far-away places, am addicted to tea, I believe in magic, I enjoy videogames, and I read to much for my own good. I have a tendency to become obsessed with certain things. People often say I should grow up. I don't believe in growing up. I do, however, believe anything you wish for will come true, as long as you believe in it. People mistake my believing in magic and happy endings for a lack of common sense. I don't care, it's real to me. |
I hate the weather, and the way the temperature is never just quite right. How it’s always just too cold, or how the heath is wet and muggy. How the ground looks from the sky, because we’re never working with nature but against it, always causing straight lines and what are really canals where there should be rivers, where we call them rivers. Pollution on the street. How there isn’t a piece of green to be found within my neighbourhood. Or the surrounding ones for that matter. How it’s too hard to find my way in public transport, takes too long, and Connexxion just doesn’t quite cut it. The way people talk, their language, and tone, and how rude they are. How tired I am all the time, when I’m here, and how I never had that over there. And the light, because no matter how hard they try and convince me it’s the same, it just is not (for over here it’s sharp, and blazing, and grey-blue-and-sometimes-green-ish in a non-pretty way, while back there it’s
yellowalmost golden, soft, and lovely, even when there’s clouds and rain and when the air is foggy or filled with smog.I’m bored and tired and missing (correction: lacking, for I know what it is I miss but cannot seem to help it or will it away), and nauseated. It makes me nauseated. And having heimwee in a way I didn’t know was possible. I don’t think I’ve ever missed anywhere (or anyone) the way I’m missing right now.
Repeating in my head, counting different ways to say -make those little words less repetitive-
Why did I leave? Why did I leave? Why did I leave? Why did I leave? Why did I leave.
